Date:
9/16/2013
Day: -11
Location: Home
Miles Today: 0
Total Miles: 0
The Emporium
The Colonel hopes to have the One Lap emporium open for business by departure day, now so near. You will be pleased to learn that a tasteful One Lap logo has been approved by the tasteful logo approval committee. The winning design (drawn from the many hundreds submitted to the committee from all over this great land) shows a solid white image of the Continental United States with the border hugging One Lap route traced in red. The words "One lap" in black are centered on the part of the country the Colonel will never see on this trip. (The term "Fly Over People" is rude and will not be used here, appropriate as it may -- or may not -- be.)
The usual swag will be available from the emporium, all featuring our tasteful logo: the One Lap baseball cap with optional forward facing reading lights, a double deck of One Lap playing cards, the soft side One Lap laptop bag, a One Lap grill master apron with extra large BBQ mitt pocket, the moisture wicking One lap t-shirt, and both long sleeve and short sleeve One Lap polo shirts for men and women available in a variety of colors. Bidding is intense at this point between Tom Tom and Garmin for licensing rights to the One Lap logo on a suitable GPS device. The deal should close shortly. The list goes on, please down load our catalog.
Interest has been fevered concerning the Colonel Wellington Boot bobble head. Unfortunately, delivery of this item will be delayed somewhat. There is heated debate among the One Lap marketing team concerning just what sort of Colonel the Colonel is. Apparently, he's not telling. Apparently, none of these folks have ever seen him, which may seem odd to you but not to the Colonel. One faction proposes a figure with an iron grey buzz cut, dressed in cammos, wearing jump boots, holding a squad automatic weapon. The other crowd wants fairly long white hair done in a (yes, tasteful,) subdued pompadour, dressed to recall both the Colonels confrere Harlan Sanders and Frank Morgan as the Wizard of Oz. This figure would be wearing, of course, Wellies, probably in red. The intern who suggested that the Colonel be depicted holding crossed chicken drum sticks is no longer with the firm. There does not seem to be a lot of room for compromise between the two factions so availability of the anxiously awaited bobble head cannot be projected at this time. Perhaps Mr. Putin can suggest a compromise.
What is yet to come
The following images were not taken by the Colonel, but derive from research done during map reconnaissance on line. How could anyone not want to go to the places shown? And this is just the Northern Route!
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| Somewhere in North Dakota |
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| Somewhere else in North Dakota |
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| Yet somewhere else in .... |
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| Looking back at North Dakota, probably not a good thing to do at speed. |
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| The Colonel expects to get a drink of ice water there as tradition demands. |
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| One reason you might want to come on this trip -- PIE! |
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| One reason you might not. |
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| A definitive reason why you might not. |
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| Insufficient reason to move to South Grand Forks N. D. Which is certainly a very nice place. |
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| Some farmer folks have way too much time. |
More to come.
Wellington Boot, Col
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